The Morning After Drama..I will deal with it on my own.

Ok...it is a new day...it is raining...washing all the old away...

I was thinking I should go to counseling...but my counselor had family stuff come up and is out of town for 2 weeks...I have talked to another counselor in the past..so I called this morning and was going to try and see her.  She usually works today...but...wouldn't you know it...she isn't in today.  I guess the Lord wants me to stretch and solve my problems myself...or at least with His help.  I wonder how I will do?

I am going to talk to a lawyer this morning. I have a 'one time' consultation through work, so I will do that and see what information I can get figured out.  At least it is a plan and something that has the potential to help me out.

I have been feeling calmer...I am still very frustrated with the whole scenario but I am trying to deal. I am going to the Temple tomorrow and I want to be in the right frame of mind to be ready for any insight or inspiration the Lord wants to send my way.

Here is a down side...I am (obviously) very sensitive to emotions and what is happening around me...well...my daughter is just as bad if not worse...she came in this morning truly upset...couldn't figure out why...saying how she could barely function...I joked that she just described how I felt (we have discovered that she is an emotional sponge) and I told her she needs to 'quit picking up my vibes'. So now, since I don't have enough guilt...I have to worry about messing up my daughter...sigh...I will say it makes me wonder if I was as sensitive as she was before my abuse. Kind of adds a new dimension to how much it would have messed me up and why my brain 'shut it out'.

So...where do I go from here?  I talked to my bishop last night...he said to not worry about money for my daughter's mission...I need to take care of my kids and if I need help they will help. That was nice...I was surprised how upset I became when thinking about how it will be harder for me to 'support' my daughter on her mission because of her father's actions. I am not sure if that is control issues or pride...