I am an official member of the 'I am Still Standing' Club!

Ok...
So I have been hanging out at the Temple A LOT on Fridays...many of the workers now greet me like an old friend.  It is a wonderful feeling....

One lady in particular has been wonderful and I feel very close to her. She made the comment last week..."There is so much love around you...I don't even know you and I love you!" I spent a little time talking to her after and she mentioned that she had been to counseling several times...then she mentioned how excited she was for me...that I was on the edge of some really wonderful things. Well...that was a wonderfully nice thing to say...but it helps me about as much as when my counselor tells me 'Go with the flow'...yeah...whatever the heck that means...I just know I am not good at it.

I found out later through a friend that this sister at the Temple has had a lot of trials and a very hard road. That got me to thinking about perhaps that is why I 'clicked' with her. I was talking to a counselor that had also dealt with abuse and I asked her if I was now in a 'club' of those that have been abused...and wondering if I would 'sense' others that have struggled like me.  She smiled and said yes...so I decided the name of the club should be 'I am Still Standing'.  I like it...and I like knowing that I am not the only one that is struggling with issues...and I know things will get better.

As I have been pondering this idea...I reflected back on those friends who would listen with 'pity' and 'awe' that I was even functioning...and compared that to the few friends I have that have truly overcome adversity (some were abused..not all). The difference in the look in their eyes, the depth of understanding, the ability they have to 'support' as they listen. This doesn't mean that if someone hasn't been abused they can't be my friend...I am just saying there is a different level of understanding. A level that goes down to the deepest part of my soul. Maybe that is part of what the man in Visions of Glory meant when he talked about 'taking people that had been abused down to their hell and bringing them out through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and healing them'. I think it is something that I have not truly experienced, but I need to if I want to 'truly heal'.