Met a new guy. He messaged me online and his first message was actually a complete paragraph!
He talked about movies and other things..we messaged back and forth a couple of times and then he asked me out (he is local). Man was that weird! I can't remember the last time I just kind of met someone and then went out. I realized that I knew almost nothing about him...we had dinner and saw a movie and it was nice. We chatted about all kinds of things..family, interests, growing up, jobs, etc. I was proud of myself for being able to hold a decent conversation and not be all neurotic and weird. I feel like he is someone I could be interested in and we went out again last night.
So this is what I think...online relationships are very different than your standard generic 'meet someone and let's go out and try and get to know each other'. With my online guy..when I finally met him he knew pretty much every skeleton in my closet...and he didn't care...he still liked me...so there was a different anxiety when we met. I wondered how much of what I imagined him to be was real and how much was fantasy. I wondered if my connection to him was based on what I perceived him to be and I worried he would not be able to live up to what I hoped he would be (who can live up to a fantasy?). With the second guy I went out with it was a little different...we knew the basics about our past relationships and I had an idea of what he was like. He didn't know about all my issues but we both knew enough to know that we both had some. With the man I just went out with? I almost feel like I know 'nothing' and it is kind of weird. I don't know what happened in his first marriage...I don't know how active he is (he joined the church about 10 years ago) and he is a little shy. He hasn't really talked about his feelings about church or past relationships...so parts of getting to know him are much slower...and other parts are much faster. I guess it is just different.
Here is a weird side note...I feel like I can't make a decision when I am with the newest man I am dating. He has asked different times where I would like to go to eat or what I would like to eat and I feel like I can't make a decision. I was thinking about it on the way home...he was trying to be nice and ask me where I wanted to go and I seriously could not decide. I think maybe it is because I don't know him well enough...I am such a 'pleaser' that I want to know the parameters that exist and what he likes before I can make a decision...I want to make sure it is something that he likes. How weird is that?
I will say that the man I just met is easy to talk to. I am able to enjoy his company and I want to get to know him better. I guess it is true what they say...you need to be careful about getting 'physical' too fast. It is certainly a different experience to get to know someone 'in person' first. Sigh...who would have ever dreamed 6 months ago that I would have 3 men interested in me? Yeah I know...pick up your jaw off the floor...
Then there is the intimacy issue...my latest man is very much a gentleman...opens doors...the first time he called me he said that he wasn't comfortable talking with a woman he didn't know after 10pm at night. Wow that was weird....so we have been out twice...and I have shared a couple of innocent kisses good bye and that is it. Man is that different from my 'make out' guy that went from our first date to kissing during the movie to long periods of kissing...sigh...I still am not sure how I feel about intimacy.
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