Dating update! Still have issues....online dating scams and helps.

Ok...I'm still trying to date...sigh...I hate dating!

But...if I ever want to love a man...I need to date.

I have to laugh at my college age daughters that make comments like..."If I want to meet people, I need to be sociable and go to activities."  Then they usually sigh and laugh...

Then here is a 'kicker'...my daughter says..."How come you have all these high standards and expectations for us (my two girls) but you don't have the same standards for yourself?" Ouch!

I think part of that has to do with what I want in a relationship is different than what they want. I am just looking for someone to love me and sit on the porch with me and grow old and giggle. They are looking for someone with a bright future (career), worthy priesthood holder, kind, caring, emotional connection, healthy, funny, etc. Is that bad?

Sometimes it makes me feel that I am 'still broken'...other times it makes me feel that I am settling...then it makes me feel that I am looking around and the men that are my age and single..let's face it...they are single because they have issues or have suffered a loss (of spouse). My girls talk about 'I don't want to marry a project'...and I think to my self...any older single man IS a project. I look at couples and see the power of a good relationship and the support of a caring spouse.  So yeah, any single many my age is going to have issues. But hey...I certainly have issues.

I do think there is a different level of acceptance of issues at my age...I am comfortable alone...therefore, if he needs 'space' or something, I am totally fine with that because I don't want to spend 24/7 with him anyway. I have children and friends and a job and a life. When young people get married it is ALL about spending that time together to 'create a life together'. It is very different.

I was talking to some creepy guys online...of course I thought they were fine until I realized they were not who they portrayed and were trying to get me to send their 'daughter' money in Nigeria.  Seriously? If you are trying to scam someone...why the heck would you think a single mom with 5 kid would have any money? Evidently, they were not 'good' scammers...lol.

It did make me think about how quickly I wanted to believe everything he said. He knew what women want to hear..."I have learned a pretty package is not always pretty inside - I find intellect attractive - I feel connected to you and want to share all my accumulated wealth with you and take care of you." Yeah...it was very appealing. When he asked me for money and I realized that he was a scam...he replies..."I never loved you either." Really, Wow...that was a surprise!  NOT! 

My stomach did turn as I realized he was not a real person...but I got over it.

It helped me to be more aware of 'signs' that a person is not who they claim to be...Like...they only had 1 or 2 pictures. Their English was not perfect (I believed when they said they were from Europe so I just figured it was 'English from Britain'. I asked if he was am American Citizen - he said partially because his father was from Germany and mother from England.  Seriously, I should have picked up on that one...how is someone a 'partial citizen'?

I even talked to them on the phone for a minute...it was a horrible connection...

Both crazy guys I was talking too..had lost their wives about 5-6 years before. One even knew basic stuff about the church...another said his grandmother used to take him to church and he said he was reading the Book of Mormon and was in 2 Nephi. Both had 1 daughter that lived in another country. Little/if any extended family...

Yeah..they knew what they were doing.

So...are there still any good guys out there?  Yes, I would like to think so...
But it is important to be careful as well...

So...if I find anyone special...I will definitely let you know!

It's been awhile...my kids are surviving...

I haven't posted in awhile...
I guess that is a good thing?
I have been very busy with my kids...my daughter came home from her mission...she and her sister shared an apartment at school. It has been so wonderful to see them both interact, support each other, love each other..want to find a man and marry...(I must say I am very glad they WANT to marry..granted they are a little worried and don't want to rush into anything...but they WANT to marry).
My oldest son is doing well, has an awesome job (just graduated from high school) and is planning on going on a mission in about a year.
My 2 younger boys are surviving quite well also...

I think it has been my 'reprieve/break' for a bit.I know my work was getting pretty crazy last spring (I'm a teacher) and it has been good to have some down time.I am not sure how long it will last - but I am not going to complain.

So...what have I learned?
That time does make things better. I just had a quick conversation about porn with my 16 year old son. I was able to say that I don't want to be 'passively ignorant' about it but it is difficult to talk about for obvious reasons. He just smiled at me and said, "Yeah." Yes, the international teenage phrase for...I get it...it's alright. It made me feel good that I could say something and that he could look me in the eye and say that he knows and stays away from it. I am sure I need to continue to be vigilant..but I am making progress.

I remember asking my girls if I should have stayed with their dad...and they said, "NO, then we would have thought what you and dad had was normal and good." Good point....

My girls talk about how different they perceive marriage - the priorities they have when looking for the right man to share their life with...I really think they understand what an emotional connection is and the importance of having it in a healthy relationship.

My good friend (old roommate) and I have talked alot about losing parents. Her father just died and I have been overwhelmed with reminders of how much my parents loved me and how much I can still feel that love today. It is a huge blessing in my life. I have never felt alone, and I thank the Lord for that...He truly is there for me and for all of us. He loves us and has a plan.

I see my kids interact - argue - giggle and laugh - love each other - want to be there for each other - and I am grateful. I would like to think that the experiences over the last few years has brought them closer together. I know that with my one son moving out -- my daughters going away to school - they all know that they have to TRY if they want to get along and have a relationship. I like to think that they will be closer as adults because they already understand that good family relationships take time and energy. Maybe that is a good thing?

I can only hope and pray that it is....